The 10 Commandments of the Pit Orchestra
1: Thou shalt attend the performance(s).
2: Thou shalt wear all-black semi-formal attire, to the performance(s).
· Exceptions:
o Starving musicians who cannot afford semi-formal attire because there is no money in music may wear some other form of all-black attire.
3: Thou shalt attend rehearsal when the laws of physics will allow.
4: Thou shalt not text during rehearsal.
· Exceptions:
o Texting is permissible for the purposes of informing a parent or guardian providing transport when rehearsal will be over.
o Texting is permissible for any reason once rehearsal is finished.
5: Thou shalt refrain from eat food, drink beverages, chew gum, smoke cigarettes, and the like while playing.
· Exceptions:
o Thou art eating breakfast because thou hast woken up to come to rehearsal on a Sunday.
6: Thou shalt not watch the play from the pit.
· Exceptions:
o Double bassists may do whatever they please because setting rules requiring them to pay attention is futile.
o The above is true of violists as well.
7: Thou shalt watch the conductor and count.
8: Thou shalt not drown out cast members.
· Exceptions:
o Pianists may play as loudly as they like.
o The cast members suck, in which case the conductor will instruct you to do so.
9: Thou shalt not suck.
· Exceptions:
o Thou wishesh (something or other).
10: Thou shalt, in cases of dispute, remember the conductor is always right.
· Exceptions:
o The conductor is wrong.
o Haha. Did you fall for that?
2: Thou shalt wear all-black semi-formal attire, to the performance(s).
· Exceptions:
o Starving musicians who cannot afford semi-formal attire because there is no money in music may wear some other form of all-black attire.
3: Thou shalt attend rehearsal when the laws of physics will allow.
4: Thou shalt not text during rehearsal.
· Exceptions:
o Texting is permissible for the purposes of informing a parent or guardian providing transport when rehearsal will be over.
o Texting is permissible for any reason once rehearsal is finished.
5: Thou shalt refrain from eat food, drink beverages, chew gum, smoke cigarettes, and the like while playing.
· Exceptions:
o Thou art eating breakfast because thou hast woken up to come to rehearsal on a Sunday.
6: Thou shalt not watch the play from the pit.
· Exceptions:
o Double bassists may do whatever they please because setting rules requiring them to pay attention is futile.
o The above is true of violists as well.
7: Thou shalt watch the conductor and count.
8: Thou shalt not drown out cast members.
· Exceptions:
o Pianists may play as loudly as they like.
o The cast members suck, in which case the conductor will instruct you to do so.
9: Thou shalt not suck.
· Exceptions:
o Thou wishesh (something or other).
10: Thou shalt, in cases of dispute, remember the conductor is always right.
· Exceptions:
o The conductor is wrong.
o Haha. Did you fall for that?